Strict Confidentiality in Accountability Groups
Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee. Proverbs 2:11
Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. Luke 17:3
Mark and I joined or were recruited into a “Reunion” or small accountability group after our Christian retreat weekend. There were four couples in the group, including our Pastor and his wife. We did not know each other very well but we thought it would be a spiritual growth experience. Unfortunately we did more gossiping than praying and confidential information about seeing a marriage counselor before the weekend spread throughout the church. I was livid and felt betrayed. The couple who leaked the information passed it off as unimportant, that all married couples go through hard times and see counselors. They never apologized or addressed the betrayal at all. My trust and ability to be transparent in the group never returned and after a period of time the group self-destructed.
We did sponsor three other couples and a widow for the retreat over time but we never found another accountability group as a couple. Mark has met with a group of men for about twenty years now and it has at times literally been a life saver for him.
The experience taught me the value and necessity of confidentiality in any intimate group such as a prayer group, spiritual accountability group or even a small bible study group that the Lord draws together in vulnerability and trust.
Prayer: Help me to forgive and the grace to forget.
Thought: Does the Lord allow us to suffer the consequences of sin so that we don’t commit the same sin and hurt others? We must forgive to go on with the Lord however; I believe, trust is a separate issue and must be reestablished.
Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee. Proverbs 2:11
Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. Luke 17:3
Mark and I joined or were recruited into a “Reunion” or small accountability group after our Christian retreat weekend. There were four couples in the group, including our Pastor and his wife. We did not know each other very well but we thought it would be a spiritual growth experience. Unfortunately we did more gossiping than praying and confidential information about seeing a marriage counselor before the weekend spread throughout the church. I was livid and felt betrayed. The couple who leaked the information passed it off as unimportant, that all married couples go through hard times and see counselors. They never apologized or addressed the betrayal at all. My trust and ability to be transparent in the group never returned and after a period of time the group self-destructed.
We did sponsor three other couples and a widow for the retreat over time but we never found another accountability group as a couple. Mark has met with a group of men for about twenty years now and it has at times literally been a life saver for him.
The experience taught me the value and necessity of confidentiality in any intimate group such as a prayer group, spiritual accountability group or even a small bible study group that the Lord draws together in vulnerability and trust.
Prayer: Help me to forgive and the grace to forget.
Thought: Does the Lord allow us to suffer the consequences of sin so that we don’t commit the same sin and hurt others? We must forgive to go on with the Lord however; I believe, trust is a separate issue and must be reestablished.
